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Something to Tell
It all began so fatefully, one dark Sunday evening. My family and I had just attended church, accompanied by my lovely girlfriend, Amber. I remember thinking, as we prayed, about a latin saying that seemed particularly apt, and almost directly related to one of my prayers. "Carpe Diem," which meant, "Seize the day." It was when we were on our way to the car, after our last prayer, that my girlfriend asked me, "What did you pray for?" I paused, unable to answer. "Well?" she asked with a mischievious grin. If I hadn't known better, I would have suspected her of reading my mind. After all, how could she have known that that night, of all nights that my prayer was anything all that special?
"Well," I began. "In part, I wished that we could be alone together for once," I glanced ahead at my parents who were almost to the car by that point. "And I can't tell you the rest, yet," I finished. She turned towards me with an accusing look on her face. I just grinned back, echoing her earlier grin.
"What do you mean, 'Yet'?" she asked in an accusing tone. I just smiled. "Come on, tell me!" she began in a mock-planitive voice. "You're mean. Pleeeeaaassee?" She persisted to ask even as we got in the car, but the only answer I would give her was a silent grin.
On our way home that night, she seemed to give up, seeming to prefer not to ask anymore that night. Before long, our car pulled up in front of her house. I escorted her up to the front door. I looked into her eyes as we bid farewell to each other and exchanged our almost ritual expressions of love. I walked back to the car that night, thinking how lucky I was to have such a wonderful girl as my beloved. I got into the car and we drove away, my eyes locked on the front door of my beloved's house until it vanished from sight.
Many times, for the next few weeks, she tried to make me tell her what else I had prayed for. I refused, telling her that it was not the time, that more had to be done before I could tell her. She remained persistant, trying ever harder to get me to reveal my secret. I felt myself weakening. Only the firm conviction that it would be better for me to tell her later kept me from revealing it. All the while, when we were apart, I strove to finish what had to be finished. I tried to get done what I told her must be done first. I wondered as I did so, if the latin saying that had come to mind that first night really had all that much to do with this situation. I felt it did, but after all of those weeks of waiting, I wasn't quite so sure anymore. I shrugged, tossing aside the wandering thought, and tried even harder to get it done.
Eventually, the night of her own church's "All-Nighter" came. Still, I had not finished what I set out to do. I wanted so badly to tell her, but no, I told myself, not yet. Not until I had finished what I wanted to do, could I tell her. The night started off rather slowly. We arrived at her church and waited for the rest of the youth who were attending the event to arrive. They did, eventually, and when all of them had shown up, we left. We went to a gathering place for all of the participating churches' youths. I was enjoying the event, to some extent. I was a little bored at first, but as time went by, that passed.
The gathering ended, a bit later than I had anticipated, somewhere around midnight. We left the gathering and piled in our respective cars to get to the next stop, Castle Rock Amusement Park. The car ride there was a bit long, but altogether not too bad. We arrived at the park, having made a short stop for a bite to eat, and quickly gathered together to make plans for meeting again, later. We parted with the instructions to return to the entrance at two o-clock in the morning. My beloved and I went off to have fun, quickly finding that the funnest rides were the ones that were most likely to make one get dizzy and/or nautious. We rode only a couple of rides, preferring to keep our respective balances. We walked around for a while, just happy to be together, until walking became tiring in itself. We sat on a small stone wall, dividing the path between carnival-like games and some overpriced food establishments.
She caught me looking at her, thinking how beautiful she was. "What?" she asked. I shook my head and said it was nothing. "Liar," she accused with a smile. "What?" she repeated.
"I love you," I replied simply.
Her expression softened. "Not as much as I love you," she countered.
"Don't be so sure of that," I told her.
I paused, mentally. That wasn't part of our ritual exchange of expressions of love, I thought to myself. "How shall I prove my love to thee?" I asked in as romantic a tone as I could muster.
"Tell me what you haven't been telling me," she said, a not altogether unexpected reply.
I looked back at her, pain in my expression. "You're making this hard on me," I finally managed.
"So?" She wasn't going to make it easy on me. She looked at me and I looked back, wishing I could tell her, wishing there was nothing to keep me from telling her what I so wanted to tell her. I couldn't do it. We sat in growing silence and she seemed to withdraw. I mentally berated myself for not telling her. My mind cried out "Not yet!" while my emotions called out "Now! Tell her now!"
I hurt, not being able to tell her. I wanted to with all of my heart, but couldn't. The night streached on before us, gradually passing, and soon it was time to meet the others. We all took to our respective cars, once more. Our next destination was Wild Rivers water park. The car ride there was long and a bit quieter than the first couple had been, a sign of the late hour. My girlfriend lay, with her head on my lap, feigning sleep. I, not realizing she was truly awake, as she later confided to me, sat admiring her beautiful face and stroking her lovely head. I decided right then and there that that would be the night I would finally tell her what it was that I had been hiding for what seemed so very long. We arrived at the water park and still, my beloved lay, still feigning sleep. I tried to wake her. She responded sluggishly, as if she would have preferred to continue sleeping. I tried to entice her to get up, so we could go inside the park, but she seemed uninclined to move. I asked if she would move if I promised to tell her what i'd kept from her. She responded by getting up.
She wanted me to tell her immediatley, but I told her I would have to tell her a little bit later that night. She corrected me, saying that it was morning, not night, so I gave in and admitted that it was indeed morning and that I would have to tell her later that morning. We made a brief visit to the changing rooms and stashed our clothes behind a bush, as most of the other youths did.
We wandered through the park, the sounds of cheering and shouting passing all around us. The laughter of playing teens echoed back and forth. As we walked on, my bare feet felt oddly uncomfortable on the hard, sometimes slick concrete. I held her tight to my side as a breeze blew and a chill struck my already drying legs.
Our seemingly aimless wanderings took us to the spot where we had left our clothes. We picked up our respective bags and sheilded ourselves from the night air by putting on some of our dry clothes. I felt my mind whirling as I would tell her what I had waited so long to tell. We walked slowly to a secluded spot; one visible only from the lines to slides and such. We spread our our towels on the ground and lay down upon them, the faint scent of moisture reached my nose as a small portion of my mind noted the light dew that had begun to form on the grass.
We lay for what seemed a long while in perfect silence. I felt dizzy as I opened my mouth to speak. "I," I swallowed, my mouth gone suddenly dry. "I told you I'd tell you tonight," I managed.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," she said, still lying with her back towards me.
"I have to," I started to reply.
"You don't have to do anything," she said.
"I gave you my word. I am a man of my word," I said, my confidence seeming to increase ever so slightly. She turned to face me, an openly curious look on her face.
I swallowed once again, a tiny corner of my mind shouting at me "Not yet!!! What about the ring!?!?! You haven't gotten it yet!!!" I ignored it. I opened my mouth again, my eyes locked on hers. "Being with you makes me the happiest I have ever been," I said. Time slowed and the world began to spin. "Only one thing could make me happier," I paused for what seemed to me to be an eternity. "Amber, will you marry me?" As I finished, the world seemed to drop out from under me.
"You didn't have to ask," she said in a quiet voice, so low that it was almost a whisper. She reached out to embrace me and the world gently returned beneath me, the hard, uneven ground assuring me that, indeed, I was awake, that this was not a dream.
May 13th, '03 3:51pm
I decided to copy TCC and post something I once submitted in my English 100 class. This is in fact a true account however.
|[Post edited by: GoldenPanther on May 13th, '03 3:53pm|
All the events in this story took place, the only part that didnt was I didn't get married. Sadly we ended the engagement, but to this day we remain good friends. I wouldn't change a bit of it :)
I'm the aged panther of the darkest reaches of your inner psyche. Or something.
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May 13th, '03 4:07pm
Oi, you bloomin' copycat. I oughts t'string ya up by the crinkin' ears I ought!
Ah well, I cou' ta'ya copyin' a'flattery, but I d'rather slag off i'an nonexistent accent!
T'that ya floomin' malachite!
Nice work though, very well narrated, e'en if you bumped mine down y'pale'malachitin'bum! Oi, a'dere comes teh accent again!
[Pretend the font is white in the below pic. For some reason its mis-allocating colors *shudders =( eww pink*]
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