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    A nasal voice calls out from out of sight. "Laura, where are you, my beautiful belle?" A door opens and a lanky fellow walks into the empty living room. His pants are hitched up to an unbelievable height, held there by blazingly gaudy suspenders whose rainbow colors leech out any last vestiges of presentability from the simple button-down shirt. His socks blaze forth from beneath the legs of his pants, their colors fighting those of the suspenders for dominence. Flat, drab shoes adorn his feet. He walks in, his stride displaying an almost inhuman stance. He looks about in an exaggerated manner, paying no attention to his path. A crash startles him from his search for his quarry. A table that had been in his path now lies in a broken heap on the ground. He looks about uncomprehendingly as if to find what had done this to the table. Seeing no other possible cause, he asks, as if to himself, "Did I do that?"

     He is the stereotypical nerd. Nerds are thought to be overly intelligent, socially and fasionably inept, often clumsy and never considered to be athletically inclined. Do all nerds fall into this description? If not, then what really is a nerd? A nerd, by some descriptions, is someone who becomes so very focused on one particular thing, whether tangiable, like collecting comic book memoribilia, or intangiable, like focusing on the mathematics of gravity and astrology, that they loose sight of all else in their lives. By these descriptions, a nerd can be someone who collects baseball cards or someone who reads obsessively.

     Nerds come in all different types. They are as varied as, if not more than, the normal student. There are an infinite number of possible focuses for the modern nerd and as many different types of nerds as there are focuses. The most common of the nerds, or rather those most commonly recognised as nerds, are the acedemically-oriented nerds.

     The acedemic nerds are the ones who have a tendency to focus on one (or sometimes more) acedemically oriented subject. The acedemic nerd often excells at one or more subjects while finding they lack ability with their other classes. The "Math" nerd is one who rarely finds them selves lacking in other classes. The "Math" nerd loves the intricacies of working with numbers and is a very logically-minded individual. He, like his fellow acedemics, loves his chosen focus above all others. The "Math" nerd, also like his fellow acedemics, often finds he has trouble relating with others on a social level, especially if they do not find his world of numbers as exciting as does he. The "Math" nerd is by no means alone as an acedemic, of course. The "bookworm" is actually a more recognised nerd than the "Math" nerd. The "bookworm" is never seen without a book in hand. Many of these nerds are fairly good as writers, but not all posess this ability. When these nerds talk at all, it is usually about their favorite books or authors. Their friends, if they have them, are usually fellow bookworms. They tend to avoid popularity and popular people. Other Acedemic nerds are the history buff, the scientific nerd, and the linguist. All of the acedemic nerds find their respective subjects to be the most interesting of all and many, the bookworm especially, do less than their best in theirs other classes, whether due to negligence, or to an actual lack of ability.

     There are more nerds than those that fall under the acedemic class. The "collector" nerds are in a class by themselves. The "collectors" are obsessed with owning or collecting some specific item such as baseball cards. The "card" collector is a strange fanatic; one of the few almost socially acceptable of the nerds.

     There are more nerds than those that fall under the acedemic class. The "collector" nerds are in a class by themselves. The "collectors" are obsessed with owning or collecting some specific item such as baseball cards. The "card" collector is a strange collecting some specific item such as baseball cards. The "card" collector is a strange fanatic; one of the few almost socially acceptable of the nerds. There are "collectors" that find themselves shunned for their obsessions. The comic book collector is one of the most socially stunted of this group. He finds that the comic books are an escape from real life and that with them, he feels at least a bit like one of the super heros, himself. "Collectors" come in many, many types. They collect an almost infinite number of different things. Some few of these different things are memorabilia from various different television shows, beer cans, coins, stamps, and a multitude of things that may never occur to most people as collectables.

     The technological nerd is the nerd you find on a computer terminal or on a video game all day or night long. The Computer nerd is often classified as acedemically inclined, but occasionally, the computer nerd finds his scholastic career taking a back seat to their desire to work with or on a computer. The Gamer is the nerd who loves to play on video games all night long. The gamer obsesses with a game unti, or even after, defeating the game. The last of the technological nerds is probably the one who has existed the longest. The couch potato is the person who sits in front of a television set all day or night (sometimes both) long. None of the technological nerds seem to find any social activities that they love, except those involving their television shows.

     The least often classified as nerds are those I call the socially acceptable nerds. The socially acceptable nerds are those who focus on more "normal" subjects. The Gossip, the most obviously social of the nerds, is almost never seen as a nerd. The gossip loves to talk, usually about others and these others' experiences. The Jock is another of the more acceptable nerds. The jock is focused almost entirely on sports. Sports dominate their lives just as much as books dominate a bookworm's or calculus a math nerd.

     All in all, most nerds close out the outside world from their own little private worlds, preferring to focus on their one specific focus, and, as such, find that their social skills become underdeveloped, and they end up shunned by their peers.
 by GoldenPanther

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Subject: Nerds June 13th, '03 5:55am

This paper was rather amusing to write, wrote it years ago in my English 100 class.  I was supposed to write up some sort of classification paper, and I chose a subject both close to heart and a little misunderstood.  I have to admit my views on the subject have changed over the years though.  I would certainly write up a different paper were I to tackle the subject today.  Still I'm kind of proud of it nonetheless.

I'm the aged panther of the darkest reaches of your inner psyche.  Or something.
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Subject: Classification Smasification June 13th, '03 10:16am

Argh, I doan fit in the classification, I demand a recount--err--re-something

I used to be a bookworm, exclusively, then gamer-book hybrid, then gamer, then a lapse in that, and now I suppose I've become more of a collector as I quest to find e'er snes rom in existence (but only play mebbe 1 in 30, and not for long), or e'ery futurama ep, or yadda. (lest we not forget a smilie collection obsession that migrated to cheese)

As for academics my strongest suite was Math, yet I hold no love for that cruel mistress of numerical manipulation.  

le-sigh, a random essay on the net failed to answer a wide and deeply philosophical question on 'identity', piff


[Pretend the font is white in the below pic.  For some reason its  mis-allocating colors *shudders =( eww pink*]

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